HDTV Movie Premieres: September 17-23

The 40 Year Old Virgin: TV3, 8.30pm Sunday.

This ribald romantic-comedy about a bachelor with a monk’s personal life stars Steve Carell as a 40-year-old who’s never had sex – until his workmates find out and try to engineer some close encounters of the fervid kind. Virgin is smarter — and sweeter — than it sounds but can’t disguise a coarse, misogynistic streak and uneven writing that veers from mean-spirited to sentimentally contrived. Judd Apatow directs; Catherine Keener, Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen co-star. (2005)

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps: Sky Movies, 8.30pm Sunday.

The sequel to the 1987 release that won Michael Douglas a best actor Oscar looks a million dollars in HD. But the movie, in which disgraced Wall Street guru Gordon Gekko makes a comeback with the complicit support of his estranged daughter’s stock-trader fiancée (Shia LaBeouf), never convinces and surprises only by selling out the original. Carey Mulligan co-stars; Oliver Stone directs. (2010)

Jonah Hex: Sky Movies, 8.30pm Monday.

This supernatural western is better than legend has it. Josh Brolin does Clint Eastwood’s High Plains Drifter legacy proud as a grotesquely scarred bounty hunter on the trail of the Civil War nemesis (John Malkovich) who murdered his family and left him so close to death he can now communicate with the dead. It sounds loonier than Wild, Wild West meets The Twilight Zone but has enough true-grit grunt to satisfy. (2010)

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra: TV3, 8.30pm Monday.

You’ll want to drag the makers of this toy spin-off to hell. Witless, joyless and soulless, it’s more mechanical than its inspiration and is recommended only for the most undemanding of 10-year-olds – and even they’re likely to desert it for the library! As for Christopher Eccleston’s turn as a mad-as-a-cut snake arms dealer, what must his friends in the north think? (2009)

The Last Seduction: Sky Movies Greats, 8.30pm Monday.

Director John Dahl’s fab femme fatale follow-up to Red Rock West  is a slick, chic two hours of suspense and smarts about a double-crossing broad who’s murder on men. Star Linda Florentino should have been a shoo-in for an Oscar nod but was denied the chance because, although theatrically released, this movie screened first on cable-TV in the US. JT Walsh co-stars. (1994)

Vampires Suck: Sky Movies, 8.30pm Tuesday.

And so do teen movie spoofs as feeble as this. As Variety observed: “Undeniably reps an advance for writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer [Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans]. By just about any other standard, however, this instantly forgettable trifle is fairly close to worthless.” Jenn Proske, 90210’s Matt Lanter and Community’s Ken Jeong star. (2010)

Just Wright: Sky Movies, 8.30pm Wednesday.

Queen Latifah plays a therapist who falls in love with the basketball star she’s treating in this romantic-comedy written specifically for her. Sister of the Traveling Pants 2’s Sanaa Hamri directed what the New York Times dubbed “a formulaic sports romance with the texture of a strawberry smoothie”. Common, Precious’ Paula Patton and Grey’s Anatomy’s James Pickens Jr co-star. (2010)

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: TV2, 7.30pm Friday.

Harry Potter VI conjured up some of the boy-wizard saga’s best reviews. In the words of spellbound Miami Herald critic Rene Rodriguez: “Half-Blood Prince is the franchise’s Empire Strikes Back — the episode in which the pace slows down a bit, the characters deepen and mature, the good guys take a big hit, and all hell is gearing up to break loose.” David (Deathly Hallows) Yates directs. (2009)

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